DECEMBER 2007
24:
My son tells me that yesterday is known as "Christmas Adam;" the day before "Christmas Eve," because Adam came before Eve, or some such thing he read on the internet.
Speaking of the internet, here's a special holiday message--a collaborative YouTube piece that I think you'll all enjoy. Sometimes I have found YouTube to be a land of negativity, of crudeness and unparalleled stupidity. But I keep going back because, more often than not, you can see the future in the connections between people, and it is very bright.
Enjoy this special version of "Silent Night." Love Janet
NOVEMBER 2007
25:
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Here is a photo of our backyard turkey-fry. The weather here was fantastic--I think it was up around 70 degrees most of the day--up until about 10 minutes before it was time to heat up the oil and plunge the turkey in it. Suddenly the clouds appeared and the wind started blowing--significant gusts that would put out the flame. Fortunately my clever spouse put together a makeshift wind screen, which somehow truly completed the ambiance.
The process, thankfully, did not involve the participation of the Howard County Fire Department, and the turkey was delicious. We had a wonderful time with our friends, the Sekok girls, whose names have been cleverly spelled backwards, of course. We were not subjected to Mrs. Smith's pies this year, as Asil Sekok brought over a delectable homemade apple and pumpkin pie. Looks like the Sekok girls will be invited again next year!
19:
Many years ago, we presumptuously posed our children as the Holy Family. But I do like the joy in this photograph. I like how Joseph seems strong and bold. I like how Mary appears serene and prayerful and proud. I like how Jesus looks exuberant.
I just saw a production of "Godspell" at Mount Hebron High School, and I was reminded of how we should look for God and find him, in our own lives, every day, in any way that we can.
18:
Here is the recipe for Pop Flood's Eggnog. Enjoy at your own risk!
Pop Flood's Eggnog
6 eggs
3/4 C sugar
1 pint heavy cream
1 pint whole milk
1 pint Four Roses (Rye Whiskey) (optional)
1 ounce Jamaican rum (optional)
1. Separate eggs
2. Beat yolks well, adding 1/2 cup sugar
3. Whip whites until stiff. Fold in 1/4 cup sugar AFTER they are whipped
4. In a punch bowl or other serving tureen that will hold five pints of liquid heaven, fold yolks in with whites mixture, stirring in the pint of heavy cream and pint of whole milk
5. Add whiskey and rum if desired
6. Serve VERY cold, topped with grated nutmeg.
12:
I drove to St. Mary's College of Maryland yesterday to hear the first concert of their Chamber Choir, which was really terrific. My son told me I would especially like the last two pieces by contemporary composer Eric Whitacre and he was right! What a beautiful day to walk around the picturesque campus. Here are some of the sights I enjoyed while on campus:
This, of course, is my favorite sight. 
OCTOBER 2007
14:
I always wonder what people who are browsing the paper online think when they come across a Janet's World headline. For example, this week, "Village says its tired of subsidized housing" is the headline that precedes the one for my piece, which reads: "Aging gracefully, thanks to drunk raisins, belch-free fish."
Imagine you are a serious online news reader. You have to admit, you would be intrigued by such a headline, no?
All of the Janet's World headlines are written, I believe, by a headline writer downtown for The Baltimore Sun. I like to picture that person, after a day writing headlines dealing with massacres and injustice, fraud and conflict, just kicking back and reading my piece and having a laugh. Perhaps even imagining me, opening the Sunday paper to read with surprise the headline for the week's "Janet's World."
It's just fun all around, isn't it? What a great job. How fortunate I am to have it.
11:
Baldwin High School graduates, most notably those from the class of 1977, are very well-read individuals! Below is a comment I received from Steve Monosson about my recent column on visiting the Alpha Ridge Dump--but before you read it and discover for yourself that Steve is a very funny guy, go to his website HERE and sign up to be an extra in his movie, "LOGJAM," which is filming again October 20-28!
It would be a road trip--the film is being shot in Delaware County, New York--certainly not in the obvious state of Delaware, nor even in PA, which is the first state that comes up when you google Delaware County. Next you have Delaware County, Ohio. Finally, you get to the LOGJAM Delaware County, which calls itself the "County of Delaware." As far as I can tell, it's in "Dirty Dancing" land, the Catskills. But you will not see happy vacationers on the County of Delaware site, no! Oddly, you will see a slideshow of a very devastating flood.
Janet,
Your Howard landfill -- complete with a gazebo -- does not leave you down in the dumps piece reminded me of a Tom Waits interview done by the Onion in 2003. What follows is the relevant passage:
O: There's a section on your web site about fans who have spotted or encountered you in public. Do you have a problem going out?
TW: I go where I feel like. Funny little story... I drove on a field trip once, to a guitar factory, to show all these little kids how to make guitars. So we're standing there, and I'm looking around, and folks are looking over at me, and I'm just waiting for someone to recognize me—you know, "Hey, aren't you that music guy? That singer guy?" Nobody. Nothing. We're there for, like, two hours, watching them put the frets on and all that, and I'm waiting and waiting. A week later, I took the same group of kids on a field trip to the dump, and as I pulled up, don't ask me how, but my truck was surrounded by people that wanted an autograph. It was a dump, for Christ's sake. I guess everybody knows me at the dump.
O: It kind of proves that you never know who your audience is.
TW: You don't really know. I guess one should not even assume that one has an audience, and allow it to go to your head.
Anyway, we missed you at the reunion, But now I guess I know -- missing your weekend sortie to the dump must have been simply out of the question.
Steve :)
SEPTEMBER 2007
30:
Update on the Recipe Mix-Up: I served the altered spinach-and-cheese cannelloni with not a lot of fanfare. I did not want to draw undue attention to it. I simply said, "Here is some spinach-and-cheese cannelloni." Afterwards, I pondered whether I should have said "Here is..." or "Here are..." It would seem to me that the verb agreement would hinge on whether you think of spinach-and-cheese cannelloni as a singular DISH, or a collection of cannellonis. But then, what is the plural of cannelloni?
The whole damn dish is just fraught with problems.
To my surprise, NO ONE NOTICED the basil-parsley switch. Or perhaps the students were too polite to mention it. And this is quite possible because the students who dined at my home are exceptionally well-mannered.
Come to think of it...the spinach and cheese cannelloni dish was not a big hit. There was quite a bit leftover. I ended up packaging the leftovers for some of the parents who helped me with the dinner party.
Now that the story is out, I invite any of them to write their impressions of the spinach-and-cheese cannelloni, and I will post them here. I'll let you know what I think, too. I'm having some for dinner tonight. And tomorrow night. And the night after that...
16:
It's been such a long time since I've entered anything here...but I have been writing a book for a Baltimore Savings and Loan Association in celebration of its 100-year anniversary, and it's a large project that involves considerable research. When it is over, I will no doubt have many Janet's World columns on the hilarious things that happen to banks, such as constant regulation, time-consuming compliance issues, and the daily struggle to remain competitive in volatile financial times. What an education!
At any rate, here are a few pictures that will keep you posted on what's been going on here...
Still crazy about the dog.
Conducted the "taking down a garden" tutorial.
Grandma and Pop came to visit.
Intense "Guitar Hero" competition
took place this weekend. As a result, John and I want to go out and purchase a number of 1970s rock CDs.
JULY 2007
7:
Here are some more photos of the Magical Growing Creature, which, I think you will agree, lived up to the promise printed on its packaging label:
"Do not expect instant results. It takes 72 hours for the creature to soak up liquid knowlege."
The seahorse is NEXT! But we have to drink a three-liter bottle of soda first...
JUNE 2007
10:
I just finished my last "Neighbors" column for the Howard Section. I really enjoyed meeting jazz/blues wonder Matt Wigler and his parents, and was feeling pretty good about the piece until I received an email from a reader asking "Who is Lewis?"
I was perplexed when I read the email, and went back to the article to check, because I didn't recall there being a Lewis in the story.
Turns out, there WAS no Lewis in the story, but, shoot, I put one in there.
For some unknown reason, I refer to Matt's teacher properly in an early paragraph, and then in future ones, refer to him as "Lewis." I can't say that any sort of Lewis came up in the course of our interview; nor is there a Lewis in my life currently, so I have no reasonable explanation of why I subsequently thought the guy's name was Lewis.
It is the weirdest mistake I have ever made.
So now my family is trying to make me feel better, blaming "Lewis" for all sorts of things around here...Lewis didn't put the wash in the dryer; Lewis made us late for the ballet recital, Lewis left the garage door open.
But the only way I'm going to feel better about this error is if there is someone who turns out to be instrumental in Matt Wigler's career--and his name is Lewis.
3:
Here is the recipe for Aunt Honey's Lime Jell-O Salad!
It's refreshing, as well as green, and makes a humorous side dish..
1 large cream cheese
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon sugar
1 medium can crushed pineapple, drained
1 large package lime Jell-O.
1 cup hot water
7 ounces 7-Up
1/4 cup chopped pecans
Cream together cream cheese, vanilla, sugar.
Dissove Jell-O in hot water, add to cheese mixture a little at a time, beating well.
Add pineapple, nuts and 7-Up.
Pour into mold and chill!
MAY 2007
3: Sometimes memory plays tricks on us. But I wanted to see if I could find the school photo I referenced in my column and compared to Moose's home haircut. I located the photo, and thought it would be character-building if I posted it here on my blog. You will note the early resemblance to Geena Davis.
I think the only thing I got wrong is that I said my bangs sloped sharply down my forehead, when, in fact you will note that the slope UP on either side and have a jagged sort of thing happening in the middle! But otherwise, I think I was right on, even when it came to the beagle-collar dress.
I might consider this photo for my book jacket, that is, when I write my book, but, believe it or not, I have an even BETTER, more STRIKING one!
APRIL 2007
29: Moose's Bad Hair Day.
I dreamed I got a really bad home haircut.
Oh no! It wasn't a dream!
It is a good thing that I am so cute.
I guess all I can do is wait for it to grow back..
27:
Just found out that Ken Navarro is playing at the Rams Head in Annapolis on August 4--his live shows are simply spectacular! I'm a huge fan--did you kow his piece "Pulse Point" is the music on my home page?
The tickets are going fast! I evaluated the available seats online and finally clicked and purchased four together at a table fairly close and was so pleased at my selection until my husband pointed out, "See those green things? They're support pillars!"
Oh well, you don't really need to SEE Ken Navarro, you just need to HEAR him. His guitar playing is so articulate and passionate. But don't take my word for it--
Hear some clips from Ken's new CD, "The Meeting Place," on his website and I know you'll be inspired to go here next to buy your tickets. See you there!
MARCH 2007
18:
The Mohawk That Grew On Me!
Here is a good shot of Mohawk man with his cute cousin Emily. She did not recongize him when he came to the door! Love the blue eyes on these two. Actually love everything about these two!
16: Today's story about Captain King in "Neighbors" has an alternate ending.
At the end of our interview, Captain King handed me a letter he had received from his daughters, who are 9 and 6 years old. I excerpted it in "Neighbors;" the girls were asking their Dad to take more time off. They missed him at home.
I found it to be a very moving letter.
I really wanted to write back. I usually use email, but I found a piece of notepad paper and used something from my "superhero stamps" to decorate it with. I hope Rachel and Pickles will excuse my printing. Handwriting is the only class I ever earned a "C" in.
12: Sure, some of the music was sad, but the performances were decidedly not!
FEBRUARY 2007
23: Photos from today's paper. Comeau may have won many awards in the fields of dance and medicine, but today she gets the prestigious Janet's World "Cutest Family in Howard County" award!
22: Best caption for the photograph below of Janet, General Powell, and that other guy, sent in by witty reader Mindi L. of Sykesville:
" Do you think the plunging v-neck was too much for this occasion?”
18: "Hobnobbing with General Powell"
Here is a rather defining shot from "Janet's World." As I wrote in this week's column, at the moment this photo was taken, I was relating a comment of critical importance to General Powell; that the photographer's arrangement of us was what my grandmother would have called "a rose between two thorns."
Now that, as a comment of critical importance, is pretty darn hard to beat. Still, now that you have seen this photo, some of you may have a better idea of what I am saying here..
Email me your captions at janet@janetgilbertonline.com, and I will post them!
9: When a Sun photographer is covering an event I am writing about, I make every effort to stay out of the way. In this week's story, I covered a fabulous French cooking class hosted by Dan Wecker--Executive Chef and Owner, Elkridge Furnace Inn.
So I stood in the doorway of the dining area observing the class while the photgrapher, Elizabeth Malby, worked. Here's just one of the shots from the story--your challenge is to find me. My children got a kick out of this. I guess it's one thing to write for a newspaper, but it is quite another to have your photo appear, however pinheaded it may be.
3: In the print version of "Neighbors" in The Baltimore Sun , there are often two-to-four photos--but the online version omits them. I thought some of you who can only access the online version might like to see some of Aline Feldman's work. You can always visit the URL below if you'd like to see more, or just "google" Aline Feldman:
http://www.artline.com/galleries/mateyka/artists/feldman/feldman.html
"Night Street"
"Loose Ends of the Day"
"Crossing Currents"
2:
A Tasteful Nude
In the art world, there are many examples of the beauty of the human form. In this spirit I am posting a particularly cherubic shot of my nephew, Jimmy.
I am sure Jimmy will be so very pleased, in about 13 years, to discover his Aunt Janet's posting.
JANUARY 2007
30: GUEST BLOG ENTRY FROM EUS SNIKPMOT!
Note from Janet: Since the publication of this week's Janet's World, I have had about a request a day for Eus Snikpmot's Macaroni and Cheese casserole recipe. I asked her to write a guest blog about its history...and her recipe appears at the end! I am glad that Eus has followed my lead and shown the decency to spell names backwards for privacy. Here are Eus' words:
Stop! I can't take it anymore! I cannot live this lie! The mac 'n cheese recipe does not belong to me, Eus Snikpmot, but to Enna Ekooc!
I've had this recipe for many years, and believe it or not, it came from a poker game. When my father-in-law passed away, my husband "inherited" his dad's seat at the poker table. He spent many a Saturday night in the company of his dad's buddies, and I think it was a way to stay close to his dad and keep his spirit alive.
Well the game was always hosted by the same buddy, and at about midnight at every game, Enna, the wife of the poker host, would serve the guys a delicious dinner. My husband came home many a night commenting "Those were the best crab cakes I've ever had," or "Oh, we had the best chocolate cake ever tonight," and then finally "Enna made the most incredible macaroni and cheese tonight -- it was unbelievable!" ENOUGH! I told him the least he could do was bring me a sample now and then if he was going to brag about his wonderful dinners at La and Enna's. But enough was enough, so I picked up the phone and demanded Enna give me that mac 'n cheese recipe -- and she was most happy to oblige.
This recipe has been a staple comfort food in our household, family, and neighborhood for years. Our neighbor, Mada Rekceb, has a particular love for this dish, and he has, all by himself, by his praises and rushing to be first in line at neighborhood functions, elevated the mac 'n cheese status to that of gourmet. Go figure! But I have to say that there is something rather mysterious and wonderful about a tray full of ooey-gooey cheesey crunchy-on-the-top pasta that is able to pick you up after a rough day, a bad week, or just a rotten mood -- and it's definitely done that many a time.
PS -- If my mom reads this, Ttocs really likes YOUR crabcakes better than Enna's -- I swear!
J -- you might want to ad the this little recipe as the Mac 'n Cheese Topper: 1 canned stewed sliced tomatoes 1 packet Equal sweetener or 2 tsp sugar On a plate or flat bottom bowl, with a knife and fork, slice and dice tomatoes until they are in small pieces. Place in small sauce pan along with sweetener. Heat thoroughly, stirring often. Serve over mac 'n cheese. (Actually I use French White Corning Wear to cut the tomatoes in and then heat -- saves a dirty dish!) Tops approximately 4 servings of mac 'n cheese. Adjust recipe for more servings.
Macaroni & Cheese Casserole
1 lb. Mueller's Ready-Cut pasta
2 lbs. Velveeta
1 medium onion, chopped
1/3 C Half & Half (or milk)
2 slices bread 2-3 T melted butter
Melt velveeta with onions and half & half. Add additional half & half if desired. Combine cheese sauce with cooked pasta. Place in greased casserole or 9 X 12 pan Top with shredded cheddar. (a deep pan keeps mac & cheese more moist) Use Bread to make bread crumbs--mix with melted butter and sprinkle on top. Bake @ 350 for 45 minutes to an hour.
Janet's Notes: Janet is too lazy to make bread crumbs so she used cornflake crumbs with butter and it was tasty. Janet also cooks it at 300 covered because her oven is unreliable and seems to run a little high!
27: Janet's Famous Hot Pizza Dip.
This is not my recipe. I stole it from Eiluj Nonnah, whose name has been cleverly spelled backwards for privacy. Eiluj moved from our neighborhood a number of years ago, but thank heaven she gave us her most excellent reciipe before leaving!
This recipe appears in the 1996 Waverly Woods Cookbook, compiled by the talented Naoj Rekcirts, who also wishes to remain somewhat anonymous; hence the backward spelling of her name.
1 8-ounce package cream cheese
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
2 cups shredded mozzarella
1 cup shredded cheddar
1/2 can favorite pizza sauce
1/2 cup each finely chopped green and red pepper
1/2 cup chopped onion`
In a bowl, combine cream cheese, Italian seasoning and garlic powder. Spread in bottom of a 9" pie pan. Combine cheeses, spread 1/2 over cream cheese mixture. Top with pizza sauce, peppers and onions. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve with tortilla chips or garlic bread chips, or Frito "scoops" or whatever's on sale!
25: Famous New York City Sights--NOTE: This is the "Supreme" Hardware Store!
Why, I'll bet you can spend upwards of 1.2 minutes browsing the aisle of this fantastic superstore I came across while walking in Manhattan last weekend. I just loved it because this is where New Yorkers go to get the type of DIY stuff suburbanites require 1.2 acres of a Home Depot to procure! But, because this is NYC, I have no doubt you could get a delivery of full-size sheets of plywood or floor joists or roofing trusses or whatever. Word of caution: it's gonna cost you! Use the high-level algebraic mathematical "Panini" formula to calculate the cost of your new granite countertop in NYC: for example, a Baltimore panini costs $4.99, chips and drink included. A NYC panini costs $7.99--and the chips are $1.50 and the drink is $2.49. This is how you can telll that your granite countertop is going to cost you quite a panini at Supreme Hardware in Manhattan. But the difference is, you can walk to the Metropolitan Museum of Art while it's being installed.
17: Do good reporters cry?
This week I covered a program about Dr. Martin Luther King at Cradlerock School in Columbia. I love the "I have a dream" speech because I think it is almost poetic, yet it remains a speech--written to be spoken, not written to be read. I think Dr. King's background as a Preacher contributed to his eloquence. He knew the power of a well-placed pause, the power of the repeated phrase, the ebb and flow of storytelling that builds to a memorable finish.
So I went to this school to hear this program that involved music and the text of Dr. King's speech read by two students. I sat with my reporter's pad on the aisle, next to a reading teacher. Everything was going just ultra professionally until the first boy started reciting Dr. King's speech.
I know these words. I have heard them often in my 47 years. But I guess I was not prepared to hear them coming from the earnest mouths of middle-school boys, speaking with passion and conviction. My eyes welled up. I thought they were going to overflow. I had not thought I would need tissues at a Martin Luther King assembly.
By the way, my mother and father always said I should bring tissues everywhere.
I swallowed hard and tried to think of something that did not affect my heart in any way, such as the fact that I have not cleaned my bathrooms in more than a week.
But there stood the Melvins (both boys selected to read were named Melvin) and I felt so overwhelmed with pride.. Sure, I hate degrading song lyrics and gangs and apathy and all sorts of things that plague our youth--white and black. But I met the Melvins. And I have hope.
Goodbye, "Planet Janet--" Welcome to "Janet's World"
Sundays in The Baltimore Sun Howard Section.
7:
Six years ago, in September of 2000, I approached my editor and friend, Phyllis Greenbaum of "The View from Ellicott City" (then known as "21042") with an idea for a weekly humor column. We had a cup of coffee in the Riverside Cafe in Ellicott City, and I brought a sample column and a list of names. My youngest child was entering the first grade, and it was time for me to begin to work in earnest on my dream of becoming Baltimore's Dave Bombeck. Erma Barry. Dave Rooney. Mickey Rooney. Andy Gibb. Something like that.
Phyllis Greenbaum believed in me. We all know humor is a funny thing--sometimes she took some serious heat for what I had written. Still, she trusted me and continued to publish my work uncensored--often dashing off a quick email to me about something I had written that made her laugh out loud--or occasionally well up with tears. This meant so much to me. She encouraged me. She gave me the courage to continue to pursue my dream.
Unfortunately, that meant leaving her newspaper.
For the past year, I have worked with another fine editor, Stan Rappaport, on my "Neighbors" column--a feature story running Fridays in the Howard Section on people and events of interest in Howard County. I work hard to make sure this column does not include my opinion and is primarily not funny.
Over a similar cup of coffee at the Waverly Coffee Shop, Stan talked to me about moving my work to the Sunday Section of The Baltimore Sun, starting in Howard County.
What I do, I believe, is kind of like stand-up comedy, but it's done sitting down in my new stunning red fleece robe in front of a keyboard and the occasional person unfortunate enough to ring my doorbell with a flyer or delivery. Often, my column has a more serious point lingering beneath the laugh. Sometimes, however, it does not--like a lot of the random things that happen in our lives. I love connecting people with these experiences that may not seem all that exciting, but nonetheless say "You are not alone."
I did not stop believing in the powerful voice of local newspapers, but I wanted to reach more people, connect more people, and perhaps fail publicly in a larger arena.
I would like to thank my two wonderful editors, my friends, my children, and mostly my husband, John Gilbert, without whose support I would no doubt still be a copywriter thinking up fried chicken adjectives for fast-food trayliners.
"Janet's World" is now where I live, and it's all because of you.--XOXO
DECEMBER 2006
28:
My next-door neighbor passed away early this morning, after a long and inspiringly courageous battle with cancer that defied standard prognoses and lasted more than a decade. The day has been a blur of phone calls and making arrangements and coordinating a program for her Funeral Mass. If you focus on the details, I think, you can postpone the reality of loss. Not that that is at all a good thing.
I think it will hit me at odd times. When I am in my backyard with my dog, I will look over and expect to see Patty sitting on her swing on her porch, and I will miss our chats. When I am attending our local high school's meetings or back-to-school nights, I will lean over to compare notes with her, but she will not be sitting in the next row. And whenever I am disciplined enough to get myself to Church on Sundays, she will not be praying in the fifth row up on the right. Or maybe she will be. The thing is, I just can't see her anymore.
NOVEMBER 2006
27: Not My Dream
When my daughter routinely spends hours at a dance studio rehearsing for a performance, and ends up having to complete work past midnight for her rigorous high school classes, I always think: God, this is not my dream for her--to be a ballerina!
It is not my dream for her to compete against hundreds of dancers with greater resources across the nation a for a one-in-a-million job that pays far less than her grammar-school and still-attainable dream of being a veterinarian/writer, like James Herriott.
It is not my dream for her to struggle, and to postpone her college education for a minor--if-that--place in a ballet company in a congested city where she will have to fork over $5.99 for a crappy egg sandwich for breakfast.
Then again, it is not my dream.
She has a long way to go technically, she has been told, by ballet teachers we trust and respect. She has only been dancing seriously for four years.
But some people--unrelated to our family--cried when she recently performed in the Nutcracker. I did not. I am saving that for the day I finally realize she will never be a veterinarian.
Instead, I am printing this photo of a dedicated dancer and two young boys who sat spellbound through her entire performance. I'm sorry to end this blog entry in a trite fashion, but sometimes a picture is indeed worth a thousand words.
15: How to Properly Perform the Amazing
Planet Janet Trick, "MONKEY ARMS:"
Read this first, or after, if you feel the need for these photos to make some sort of sense.
Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 3:
Step 4:
Back View of Step 4
So you can see I am not cheating!
Voila! 
You can do the "Monkey Arms!"
And now...THE GILBERT EYEBROW...
9: ONLY 46 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS! Every morning, my 12-year old son gives me the revised countdown. I suppose I should feel grateful, because evidently it is a day he looks forward to with great anticipation, and I guess I have only my past efforts to blame. But the first time I heard the number of days remaining, I can honestly say I was filled with a sense of...dread.
How am I ever going to add "Christmas" to my to-do list...with all of its decorating, and baking, entertaining, and so on?
Then, my son started playing Christmas music--he has loaded more than 40 holiday CDs onto his Dad's ipod, and he plugs it into the speakers whenever he is doing homework or working on a project. Basically, whenever he is home.
Suddenly, I'm feeling in the spirit. I'm ready to spruce up the dusty wreath hanging in the garage. I'm thinking how nice "icicles" might look this year over the garage. I'm going to make the cranberry stuffing on the food network website. I don't even like cranberry.
What happened? Best I can guess, repeated playing of The Carpenter's "There's no place like home for the holidays" causes an effect in the brain, such that one views the daunting holiday "to-do" list the way, perhaps, Santa's elves would. It's the happiest job in the world, right now, making a magical season.
Fueled by the excitement in my son's eyes, and a mug of hot cocoa, I'm ready to get going!
OCTOBER 2006
25: It is certainly a prolific night for blogging. Here is a fun game for you, in the style of "Where's Waldo?"
Find, in the photo to the right, our dog Moose. Hint: Moose is reposed on the plywood underlayment of the wood floor John and I ripped out this weekend.
I say "John and I" but I must clarify: John pried all the boards out whereas I carried them to the bed of the truck. We had so much fun--the kind of fun we are sure that couples who jet off to the Cayman Islands sadly never experience together!
25: A we;ll-dressed woman rang my doorbell today, and insisted she didn't want to bother me--she just handed me a flyer and wished me a good day. When I shut the door I read the flyer's headline: "THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!" over a backdroop of a photo of a sky with lightening bolts that would rival the best special on "Storm Stories."
Now, I'll admit, I haven't read the flyer, but I am grateful that the end of false religion is near. I assume this means any religion that causes people to terrorize or kill others in its name.
Thank you, nice lady, for coming to my door with this good news!
7: Here is the ad for this year's production of "The Nutcracker" by the Ballet Royale Institute of Maryland. Thank you to my family and friends and neighbors for supporitng the Ballet Royale Institute of Maryland and the girl in the photo!
SEPTEMBER 2006
9: Today is the "Dragon Boat Race" in Baltimore's Inner Harbor, benefitting Catholic Charities in Maryland. John's company,Verizon, sponsored a boat, and I've just gotten word that their team has finally been eliminated (at this point, only a few move on to the finals). Still, take a look at some of these photos of the happiest losers for one of the best causes in the state! Today I am proud to live in Maryland, though I wish William Donald Schaefer wasn't getting so much press as our unofficial spokesperson. At this point, I'd better just slip into my Mother Hubbard dress and get working on next week's column.
AUGUST 2006
30: Everyone told us that puppies grow fast, but has this one been eating the magic beans or what? Here is Moose at 9 1/2 weeks. He's doing great--he sits now when we ask him to (treat at the ready) and we're working on him sittiing before meals, before coming inside, and so on, as a way of saying "please." Our Veterinary assistant's idea. We've made it to "02 days without an accident!"
29: We need one of those factory signs "XX days without an accident" to post in our kitchen so that we realize we are making progress with Moose's housetraining. If we did have such a sign, at this point it would read "01 days without an accident." Maybe by this time tomorrow we'll make it to "02!"
25: We took our oldest son to college yesterday. I had told my daughter, "Let's not make a big scene and cry when we send him off--it will just make it more difficult for him!" At 8:30 in the morning, packing up the van, I'm standing in the garage boo-hooing. So much for setting a stoic example!
We had a great trip and enjoyed meeting Pat's roommate and family. They are in an airconditioned dorm, which is a great bonus! Here are a few photos from the bittersweet day! Pat is moving up in the world--you will see he has gone from one "brick front" home to a new SOLID BRICK one!
18: Moosetracks is home--named after the ice cream we simply cannot get enough of around here. We're calling him Moose. Enough words--here are some photos!
16: Countdown--only 2 days left until our lives are irreparably changed--we're getting a DOG! Look, I've taken enough psychology in college to know that we are compensating for the "loss" of our oldest son, who heads off to college in a week! A new puppy will be a HUGE distraction for the siblings--and the parents. . .
I've been doing a lot of reading about the breed and housetraining and puppies, and thinking that-- shoot, maybe we should have gotten a canary or a gerbil or something! But then I look at this photo of "Prince," as our breeder named him. My youngest son said that now when we rename him, he can be "The Dog Formerly Known As Prince." He's a goldendoodle--a mix of golden retriever and poodle. We are going to call him "Moose," which is short for our favorite ice cream, "Moosetracks." Sure, this is a ridiculous name, and probably a ridiculous idea! But we are going with it!
I keep reminding myself, change is good.
12: My Aunt Paula is gravely ill due to complications of a brain tumor. She is my father's younger sister.
Aunt Paula is a creative and gifted storyteller who can deliver a memorable punch line with perfect comic timing. When I was growing up, and trying to develop my own sense of humor, I remember feeling highly complimented when family members would say: "Janet's just like Paula!"
I hope I can face the challenges ,obstacles, and the just plain unfair and crappy turns of my life as gracefully--and with as much unflagging optimism--as my Auut Paula continues to approach hers.
I just want her to know that I love and admire her, and I'm sorry I waited until now to say so.
3: My daughter just got her end-of-year ballet photograph in the mail. It caused me to reflect on how a less-than-stellar moment of mine nonetheless resulted in a unique opportunity for my daughter.
Back in March, the Ballet Royale Institute of Maryland hosted a fantastic evening of dance featuring top-notch talent from the American Ballet Theatre: Maxim Beloserkovsky, Irina Dvorovenko, Stella Abrera and Sascha Radetsky. Ballet students from the Institute were given the opportunity of a lifetime to dance alongside these legends.
When the evening was over, the students crowded around the dressing rooms, hoping to get an autograph from the dancers before they hopped on a train to get back to NYC. For months prior to the event, I had volunteered --and now that it was over, all I could think about was that my feet hurt in my darn pointy high heels and I had to return two enormous coffee urns to a local Starbucks by 11 pm. Frankly, I was exhausted. I saw my daughter in the crowd, and with what I'm sure was an annoyed look on my face, I signaled to her, "Let's just go.Now! I'm tired!"
She was great about it--she said was tired, too, and agreed that an autograph wasn't really all that important--it was the experience of the evening that counted.
On our way out, we ran right into Ms. Irina Dvorovenko. Here's the photo I took. And then, here's my daughter's end-of-year photo. Sometimes things just work out.
JULY 2006
4th: I just spent a wonderful, relaxing week with my sister and her husband and family at their beach house in South Carolina. My neice delighted in bringing up seaweed from the ocean for us to use as "hair." Here's a cover-girl quality shot of me at the beach with my personal stylist!
On the eight-and-a-half-plus hour drive from Baltimore, I let my 16-year-old drive for short periiods on I-95with her learner's permit. Of course, she had had lots of road practice before this opportunity--but still, there is nothing quite like the harrowing combo of traffic and speed on I-95! The flowers along I-95 in North Carolina helped me relax and stay focused, both when I was a driver and a nervous passenger! Click here to read my column about it!
JUNE 2006
20th: (For a deeper understanding of these photos and captions, please read the Planet Janet column called "Friendship Bracelet.")
Here I am wearing the friendship bracelet while browsing in the poultry case.
Next you can see the friendship bracelet is dangerously close to some raw packaged chicken parts!
Finally, after juggling some roasters while wearing the friendship bracelet,
I select one--the one that didn't hit the floor--and go home.
Here is a close-up of the friendship bracelet at 6 months old. Keep checking this website to see how it, and I, am aging!
8th: My 17-year-old son has just graduated from high school. The ceremony was held at a large, outdoor pavillion to make room for the guests of the more than 350 graduates. Also, I guess I need to say that it was quite hot and stuffy, and many folks were loosening ties or taking off jackets as the graduates processed There was a girl who would have graduated with my son--he didn't know her well--but she had passed away in a tragic car accident a few months prior to graduation. The school presented this child's parents with her diploma, and the entire audience stood up to acknowledge them and their pain. About two and a half hours later, exiting the venue, I overheard a man saying loudly, "What a waste of time, to present that diploma!. What were those parents going to do with it?" I held my tongue, but what I really wanted to say was, "Celebrate your child. Appreciate your time with him or her." That is what that diploma presentation was all about. It was not for them. It was for the rest of us.
APRIL 2006
20th: I just returned from a week in the Dominican Republic with my family. I read a few books on the beach--the best of which was (finally! the book all literary Americans read last year!) The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. With tears streaming down my face, I turned to my 17-year-old son, sitting across the aisle from me on the plane ride home, gesticulating with the book: "Why didn't you tell me this was so overwhelmingly poingnant, so devastatingly horrific, so profoundly beautiful?" I demanded, hiccuping and snuffling! I did know that he had stayed up until 2AM, sitting on the balcony of his and his siblings' room, wearing a "headlamp" that my husband used to use for night mountain bike riding, in order to finish the book a few nights earlier! A week later, he and I are still making remarks to each other about the book. If you overheard us, you'd almost think that the whole point of going to the Dominican Republic was to have an opportunity to read The Kite Runner. But that is not true. The whole point of going to the Dominican Republic was to have family fun, which, in our case, can involve being temporarily transported to Afghanistan by a work of fiction.
Here are some Dominican Scuba Divers I happen to be fond of.
I have tried to copy these Dominican dinner displays back
home in Baltimore--using Spam, lime Jell-O and iceberg
lettuce--but thus far I have been unsuccessful.
MARCH 2006
5th: A few days ago, I had the chance to interview a teacher at a local school for Korean language studies. I learned that in the Korean culture, teachers are revered and respected. In American culture (is that an oxymoron?), it seems to me that we elevate people of superficial talent and fleeting fame. We have even created reality shows like “American Idol” that emphasize the quick-results route to success.
Don’t get me wrong--there are a lot of things I love about our ways. American enthusiasm, ingenuity, willingness to question authority, creativity--we’re unparalleled in these areas! But it’s just a little disturbing to me, our lack of regard for the teaching profession. While this was not at all the focus of my interview, I came out with a sense of embarrassment at our wacky American values. We pay minimum wage to people who choose a career path in child care--and often not much more for educators. These, along with parenting, are the most important and influential jobs out there. End of speech. Wild applause. Now I have to leave all of this out of next week’s article for The Baltimore Sun.
