SEPTEMBER 2009

12:   First things first, Grandma Flood's Hot Fudge Sauce Recipe:

2 T unsalted butter. The real stuff, people!

1/2 pound (1 box) Baker's bitter (unsweetened) chocolate

1 T cornstarch mixed with 2 C sugar

1/3 C white Karo syrup

1 can evaporated milk

Combine all in the top of a double boiler; cook "low and slow" for one hour, stirring frequently. Freezes well once cooled.

And now here's a photo of one of my children enjoying a first taste of Grandma Flood's Hot Fudge Sauce--excellent on ice cream, pound cake, pretty much anything--even green beans.

AUGUST 2009

30: Enjoy this week's photo...

27:  Just got back from a fantastic family vacation in Tulum, Mexico. Here are some random photos..

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7:  Janet's Fashion-Forward Photo Shoot featuring the Peace/Love/Hope shirt and Maryland License Plate purse. NOT. Seriously, thanks so much to my son who spent the morning with me in Patapsco Park, capturing the essence of my fashion sense.

We thought the poetry book was an excellent addition. And we really couldn't do anything about Moose being in the photos; what can I say, he just looooooooves me.

JULY 2009

5:  Here's a scan of today's column--thought you might enjoy seeing the ukulele at the John Lennon Memorial!

JUNE 2009

21: This is the Chinese food I ate with the Baltimore Improv Group.

This is the Chinese food I ate with the Baltimore Improv Group while rehearsing Sunday night as we have for the past four months.

This is the Chinese food I ate with the Baltimore Improv Group while rehearsing while rehearsing Sunday night as we have for the past four months for a show called "Baltimoored: Summer in the City."

This is the Chinese food I ate with the Baltimore Improv Group while rehearsing while rehearsing Sunday night as we have for the past four months for a show called "Baltimoored: Summer in the City," which runs July 9, 10 and 11 at Centerstage in Baltimore.

This is the Chinese food I ate with the Baltimore Improv Group while rehearsing while rehearsing Sunday night as we have for the past four months for a show called "Baltimoored: Summer in the City," which runs July 9, 10 and 11 at Centerstage in Baltimore, and if you want tickets you ought to get them here soon because they usually sell out about two weeks before the date.

Hope to see you there! Here are couple more shots of some of our Sunday nights rehearsing at WYPR. We're off for Father's Day tonight--happy Father's Day to all the Stoop guys who are dads!

MAY 2009

25: My new editor at The Sun has a great sense of humor...she's been running large photos with my columns, and this week's really ramped up the LOL factor! Here's a scan of what appeared in the paper for you distinctly online readers:

20: I don't have much time to blog with my various paying and non-paying jobs, but I had to get on this morning and say I'm so glad I wrote my recent Op-Ed inspired by the NAMI walk, "Time to Come Out of the Crazy Closet." I've received so many pieces of insightful, touching mail from all over Maryland that I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to write about what I know and have people react so profoundly and personally. Here are a couple of blogs from writers (who emailed me and asked to reference my piece) that I'd like to share with you:

http://www.homelesscide.blogspot.com/   This one is a gripping, poignant account of day-to-day life on the streets of Baltimore by Dave Cluster.

www.beliefnet.com/beyondblue   This one is written by Therese J. Borchard, and focuses on a spiritual path to mental health.

Enjoy! And also enjoy this recent photo of a tree in my backyard. Love to all who have written to me.

APRIL 2009

12: Happy Easter to all who celebrate! And to everyone, enjoy a beautiful "family day" today in Maryland, where it reallly feels like Spring is on the way, for the first time in weeks. Here's an idea of how to spend the day--how about a swim, followed by a nap?

MARCH 2009

8: I am grateful and relieved that my Dad has been released from the hospital, where he had stayed over a weekend after recuperating from surgery on a Friday. Coincidentally, I've just finished reading my book club selection this month, Welcome to the Departure Lounge.

In this nonfiction account of the care of her mother and step-father in their seventies, the author Meg Federico references a hospital in West Palm Beach, Florida. Though she has changed the names of medical care facilities, I am fairly certain my Dad was treated at the same hospital she writes about. Federico states flat out--do NOT ever go into a hospital on the weekend if you can avoid it, due to the skeleton staff and the lack of oversight. My mother tells me  of how she did "light housekeeping" in the hospital when she stayed with my Dad throughout the day, and how she learned that the nurses "could not" come to attend to him at night because they were so short-staffed. My father came home with a surgical wound that needed serious attention. He also suffered a fall while hospitalized that the nurse "explained" to my mother. My mother said she could understand how my Dad fell. But my Dad was on medication post-surgery. How do we know what really happened?

This I know: they did not change the bandage on his head over the course of the four days he was hospitalized. Hmmmm.

The cost of health care is one issue; the quality is another. My feeling is that, generally speaking, Americans do not want to think about aging and needing care and yet someone needs to be an advocate for the care of senior citizens. I believe my parents were kind and believed in the goodness and integrity of people, including my father's surgeon, and yet they were taken advantage of and my father is paying the price for their negligience now in his recovery period.

In case anyone is not caring about this...remember, someday this will be you. You can botox or exercise or diet or restylane but you will inevitably grow older someday. And you will want someone to care.

FEBRUARY 2009

2: Only a week until the Stoop Stories show February 9th. Let's see, now, all I have to do is memorize my seven-minute spiel, finish some scripts for a client, go grocery shopping, put my laundry away, make a few calls, get over my cold. AHHHHHHHHH!

JANUARY 2009

25: A letter from the Mayor of Carmel, Indiana!

How grateful I am to receive email from my readers. So far, over the past two years, I have answered every note; it occurs to me that if someone was moved to write to me about a column, it is the least I can do to acknowledge their time and effort with a small thank you.

We all know that technology has made the world seem smaller, but I was really surprised by just how small last week. Fortunately for me--especially in these lean newspaper times when I have not been paid by the Tribune since November first--there are a lot of folks I know who I know do not live in the Baltimore area but keep up with my column on my website or Facebook page. One such person is my old advertising buddy and boss, Bob, whose name I have spellled backward for privacy to no avail. At any rate, Bob grew up in Indiana, and has some friends there, one of whom is Nna Oj. Bob liked my column about Carmel and he forwarded it to Nna Oj, who apparently knows the Mayor of Carmel and decided to forward my column on to him.

And, you'll never guess--last week the Mayor of Carmel wrote me a lovely note, inviting me to meet him the next time I am in town! And just in case you don't believe me, his name is Mij Draniarb. Spelled backward, of course. And he has just one plate from the Sound of Music collection. I said that when I come back I will give him one of mine. But I might just give him the "South Pacific" plate and hope he doesn't notice until I've left his office! These are the kinds of gratifying experiences that help me escape the reality that all indicators point to the fact that I might be out of a job soon.

6:  Happy New Year to all!

I am starting 2009 in a scary and exhilarating way; I am scheduled to perform at CenterStage in Baltimore as one of the storytellers in the "Stoop Storytelling Series," here, on February 9th. This particular show features stories about love lost, love gone wrong and so on--I submitted a story about a particularly horrific date I had when I accepted an invitation from a guy I served one summer when I was a waitress at the Coral House in Baldwin, New York. I won't tell you much, except that the guy showed up wearing a coke spoon. Making quite an impression on my Dad. Last week, the producers asked for a "funny" photo and fortunately I experienced a photographically hilarious childhood. I submitted this photo, with the following thought:

Who would imagine this girl would grow up to go on a date with a drug addict?

DECEMBER 2008

17:  I had a great Thanksgiving week with my parents and brother and sisters in North Carolina. We missed my younger brother, Bob, who lives with his family in Hawaii, but I hope to see their daughter when she plays in her school's band at the Inauguration of Barack Obama. (She attends the school Mr. Obama attended in Hawaii.) When I told a friend of mine I hoped to be able to see my niece, she said, "Good luck with that." I guess I forgot that a gazillion people will be descending on this area of the country. Anyway, here are some photos of my family, along with my wishes that you get to spend time with your families over the holidays.

NOVEMBER 2008

9:  In this week's column, you enjoyed a snapshot of the dramatic and unparalleled excitement I experience in my typical days as a humor writer. And in case you doubt the veracity of my story...perhaps I do have a tendency to exaggerate, but isn't that called hyperbole? Aren't I in fact using a literary device? I digress. At any rate, here is a photo taken by my son with his camera phone when I returned from the field with Moose. It took me more than an hour in the shower to comb the seeds out of him. And then days to remove the stragglers from...everywhere.

OCTOBER 2008

12:  Friday of last week, my friend called and said she really wanted to go apple-picking. I had a list of errands but let it go because this sounded a lot more fun than driving all over town to see if I could find a "black wife-beater undershirt" that my son needed as part of his costume for the upcoming high school musical. In case you're wondering, you can actually find such an item at the Wal-Mart on Route 40. At any rate, when she came to the door to pick me up, I asked her if she remembered the last time we went apple-picking together? I said I thought it was when our boys, now freshman in high school, were on the Mount Hebron Preschool field trip. I'd like to say we waxed sentimental and missed them, but the fact is, it was kind of relaxing that on this trip to the orchard; we didn't have to be overly concerned with our proximity to yellow jackets, or to the portable toilets.

SEPTEMBER 2008

27:  Today I remember what if felt like when I wore my contacts overnight. My eyes are weary and dry, and yet if I think about yesterday, they tear up again. A temporary fix that adds to the problem.

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a beautiful, bright college senior who took her own life.

We heard lovely and articulate words of comfort from her friends and family. But that was yesterday.

Today I feel so many things, not all of them lovely and articulate. I think about how we learned this young woman suffered from an anxiety disorder, and how in spite of her courage and commitment to lead an outstanding life, somehow she fell into despair, and no support system--not even the incredibly strong one so evident at her funeral--could save her.

After the funeral, I was compelled to call each of my two children in college. I described the service, and the visible anguish of everyone there. I told them, "Hey, if you ever feel really, really, down--just call someone and talk about it. Just wait a day. Just don't ever think you are worthless...I love you." I know for a fact I am not the only one who attended that funeral and took that sort of action. I like to think that maybe it was this incredible young girl's hand that was evident yesterday, in all the reaching out all over the country that took place.

Anyway, then I took my 14-year old climbing at EarthTreks, as I had promised, and in the car ride over, I delivered the same message.

So then later that night, I was getting ready for bed, and my son was, too. Suddenly I heard him in his bedroom, playing this song he wrote on the ukulele, which is generally speaking an incredibly happy instrument. I stood in the bathroom with my toothbrush in my hand and wept.

Here is an excellent website for anyone who is coping with a mental illness, or for anyone who has a family member or friend who is coping. I wrote a feature article about this organization a couple of years ago, and I do their walk in Centennial Park every year.

What a difference it can make, to know you are not alone.

I believe that is the message we all wish we could have delivered to this sensitive, intelligent, despairing young woman.

14: And now for some excellent news about Verizon!

No, it's not the stock. It's something more important, actually, for Baltimore. Verizon was a platinum sponsor of the Baltimore Dragon Boat races hosted by Catholic Charities yesterday. This means the company made a $50,000 donation to Catholic Charities, the leading private provider of human services to people in need in Maryland, through organizations like Our Daily Bread, Christopher Place, Head Start, St. Vincent's Center and more.

The Verizon "sport" dragon boat team won yesterday!

My husband, John, was the "steerer." Is that a word? Dragon boat racing is all about teamwork, and the Verizon team was basically a diverse bunch of people ranging in age from their 20s to their

50s--people who work really hard and dine "al desko," practicing once a week since July. I think they were rained out several times. But it all came together, yesterday. I am proud of the Verizon team, and Baltimore.And very proud of my husband, who is just a terrific "steerer" and team player at work--and around here, too!

Also, yesterday, I went grocery shopping after returning from the races. A really nice woman approached me and asked me where I got my bracelet (below). I hesitated and then told the truth: "My daughter's jewelry drawer!"

My daughter didn't take much jewelry to college--as a dancer she never wears any in the studio. I saw this bracelet on her dresser and decided to wear it one day. And I've sort of been wearing it since she left for college. It has a lot of my favorite words...family, hope, trust, faith, truth, charity, love. And it reminds me of her. I think my daughter received this bracelet from my in-laws, but I wasn't sure. So I did an internet search, and found that it has a name: the Humanity Bracelet.

Wow. Further searches revealed you can purchase one for $29.99, or $79.99. Even e-Bay has one for $15. I'm not going to link a store here, because you can't really gauge how reliable a retailer is on the Internet. But Yram Nawogcm, whose name has been spelled backwards here for privacy, now has the information she needs to find a humanity bracelet.

A more economical solution: just put these words in your heart and wear them every day.

9: Two kids off to college, and one starting high school. The house is quieter, and I have to say that it is easier to work without the cacophony of cell phones and doorbells ringing. It's a new life stage for John and me. In fact, the very first weekend after we launched our two older children onto their respective campuses, our youngest son was invited to a friend's beach house. Though we had a lot of work to do that weekend--we were ripping out our kitchen countertops--I wondered if we'd miss everyone and feel a little blue.

Actually, we had a great time.

And in case one of our kids is reading this, let me explain! It's not like we WOULDN'T  have had fun if you were with us, carrying out bucket after bucket of drywall shards and hunk after chunk of countertop to the garage. (Sound like fun?) It's just that it's been so long since we've been on our own, together, it was nice to rediscover that we each are a blast to be with!

Example: John was disconnecting the kitchen faucet, and it was a tough job in a tight spot. I could tell that it was really getting frustrating. I said, "Try cursing! That seemed to work for my dad in home improvement projects!"

And at the end of the weekend, as we were enjoying a glass of wine on the patio, I commented that I had really had a fantastic time.

"Whew," John said. "Glad I don't disappoint."

Below, John hanging drywall. And a particularly flattering shot of me.

JUNE 2008

15: Happy Father's Day to all the dedicated Dads I love!

And I know this is a photo of a Dad and his dog but it is a good one, isn't it?

3:  What happened to May?

Well, it's really more like what happened in May. We had a Scarecrow performing in "Oz." There was an end-of-year ballet enrichment program demonstration. We had a high school graduation on May 22, and all sorts of exciting activities associated with it. We had the American Computer Science League Competition at our local high school over Memorial Day weekend, and that was the culmination of months of planning by a committee of true professionals who also know how to PAR-TAY! We unpacked one son from his sophomore year of college, only to pack him up again for Italy, where he spent two weeks singing with SMCM's Chamber Choir. If I'm technically up to it, I'll attach a sample...

I was going to attach a few photos, but really, this one sets the tone for the whole month.

As my sister would say, "Wooooo-hoooo!"

And here's "Danny Boy," sung by my own personal Irish tenor! It was not a performance, but a rehearsal. Enjoy!

APRIL 2008

27:  The unnatural bend in the Janet's World driveway is pictured here.

Now, I know it doesn't look like much. But if there are vehicles parked on the right side of the driveway, this little bend can cause other little bends, sadly, such as the one below.

13: Today is my father's 75th birthday! In his honor, here are a couple of stories that will give you an idea about the kind of guy he is:

When my Dad retired from what I now realize was a pretty high-pressure job on Wall Street, all five of his children and many friends and colleagues came to a surprise retirement dinner at a Chinese restaurant in the city to celebrate and tell funny stories about him. Then, one young guy who was recently hired at the firm stood up and said, "I'll tell you what I learned from Tom Fricke..." and then he started to get choked up. "You don't have to be an asshole to be a success in this business. You can have integrity, you can be a nice guy, and you can make money."

It was the first time I had ever heard the word asshole in a tribute, but it was highly effective.

My Dad isn't just funny, he's witty, with impeccable timing and delivery. I think it was last year, he was in the hospital for diverticulosis and it was pretty serious; he had had to have several units of blood. My Mom was visiting daily and one day her woman friend joined her, and they were sitting by Dad's bed comparing knitting projects while Dad was reading the newspaper. A nurse came in to take my Dad's vitals, and my Dad immediately quipped; "Isn't it great how my wives get along so well?"

I could go on. Happy Birthday Dad. You are such a role model.

I only hope I can continue your legacy, and be regarded someday by my children, friends and colleagues as successful and funny. And, of course, not an asshole. Love ya.

MARCH 2008

23:  Happy Easter to all who celebrate!

So I did go to "Body Worlds" with my children over spring break, and I have to say that it was pretty amazing. If you have ever purchased the "Invisible Man" or "Invisible Woman" models for your children or seen them, you can walk through most of the exhibit pretty much fooling yourself the entire time that what you are seeing are life-like, plastic models. That's how good the medical illustrators and model-makers are--these actual humans appear fake!  Still, there are inspirational quotes on the walls and some piped-in "New Age" music that sets a mood--or should--of reverence.

There were a couple of people at the exhibit who were probably disturbed by it and expressed their uncomfortable feelings by laughing or joking, and that was just inappropriate. I saw one boy with his head buried in his father's shoulders and I kept hoping that this Dad would respect his son's feelngs and take him outside, and come back to see the exhibit another time. But he didn't. I noticed a lot of med students or medical illustrators in the group, as well as doctors or other healthcare professionals with their families. And then there were a lot of folks like us--families enjoying spring break at the Baltimore Science Center.

I will admit that I had to propel myself rather quickly through the "human development" section, because I just felt an acute sense of sadness for the loss of those babies, whatever the reason.

My own two children spent a lot of time going through the exhibit and pointing out things and asking questions. They had a lot to say on the ride home, including the fact that they'd like to go back.  My husband hasn't had a chance to see it yet, so maybe he'll go with them next!

FEBRUARY 2008

2: Some construction shots of the garage climbing wall. My college son changes the routes every time he's home.

The "holds" in the box are kind of pretty. I'm sure avid rock climbers appreciate this observation.

JANUARY 2008

20:

I'm not very good about blogging--but in the hierarchy of the to-do list, it's immediate family, extended family, job, volunteer jobs, house chores, blog. And for those of you who think the column is largely fictional, let me just say that my dishwasher IS in fact broken and I have not been around to have a repair person come. This is because I have been in Indiana with my daughter who was auditioning for a dance program at Butler University. At any rate, since returning home yesterday afternoon, doing dishes has become the major house chore for our family. We sure can generate the dishes! It kind of makes you think twice before you grab a glass for water--do I really need this now? Can't I just put my face under the faucet? NO! This was something I previously corrected my children for doing. But I must admit I'm kind of seeing the sense of it all of a sudden.

Plus, this week, I join most of America in jamming a big new task into the already crammed hierarchy--TAXES. How I love to sit and add up all the miles I have driven and put them in a little chart, and bundle up my receipts.

So this is a blog about why I don't blog, and I hope you've enjoyed it. Now I must turn my attention to another thing on my list--getting my new Mac powerbook up and running. I've just installed leopard which is acting somehow more like I installed monkey or perhaps lemur, and at any rate, I can't get past the log-in screen because it won't recognize my password.